Wednesday, April 2, 2014

A shave and a hair cut

So, today is the day! I am going to shave off all of my hair. I'm a little nervous, I must say. I don't know what I'll look like bald, but I know that I can rock a cute scarf or hat, so I should be okay. Everyone says I'm brave, but I just say I'm a control freak! lol This is my way of being proactive and getting to do it my way, instead of chemo's way! So there! I guess what I'm most nervous about is now everyone will know I'm going through cancer and I'll be getting "looks." Its not that I'm not used to getting looks. When you're almost 400 lbs getting "looks" is pretty normal. lol But I've lost 145 lbs of that weight and I've been feeling pretty normal lately. It will be a bummer to stand out again, just when I've been getting used to blending in. Oh well, such is life.

It's weird writing all of this out for people to read. I feel like my life isn't anything really special. I'm just a normal girl, with normal feelings, going through cancer. Again. I'm just so darn angry to have to go through all of this again! I mean, I'm grateful that I'm healthy and able to have chemo, but I wish I didn't have to do this. School is almost over, and I have no idea how I'm going to do my Externship when chemo makes me so tired. I guess I'll take it one day at a time for now. It's never convenient to get cancer, but the timing really sucks! While everyone has been so great at offering to help, no one can go to school or work for me. It is what it is.

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